Gaslighting & Its Many Forms
Gaslighting is one of the pillars of narcissistic abuse and where the manipulation starts to happen.
Gaslighting has been framed as a “buzz word” and is typically seen as denial of someone else’s reality. Outside of denial, there are many ways that gaslighting can present in a narcissistic or antagonistic relationship.
Let’s start with the definition of gaslighting:
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which an individual or entity seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted person or group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity.
This is more than just “it’s all in your head” and “you’re being crazy”. It starts in the smallest of ways and eventually becomes a “regular” in the narcissist’s psychological warfare.
This might look like…
denying that certain events occurred
trivializing the feelings and experiences of someone
twisting conversations and facts to favor their own agenda or needs
This might sound like:
“That’s not how that happened”
“It really wasn’t that big of a deal”
“That’s in your head”
This can take many different forms…be wary of limiting
Techniques of gaslighting:
Countering - “you never remember things correctly”
Denial - “that never happened”
Deflection - “what about that one time that you did [x]?”
Trivializing/minimizing - “you’re overreacting”
Withholding - “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
Blocking/diverting/shifting blame - “this is all your fault”
Discrediting - “everyone will think you are crazy”
Rewriting history - “you started yelling at me for no reason” (after they just screamed at you
Long story short: there’s no one-size-fits-all version of gaslighting that people experience in narcissistic abuse. some people experience all of the above, some people experience a few. it’s important to remember that narcissism is a continuum.
Sending love from Raleigh to you all,
Jay
